No Identity Men -
Different Types of Men
Relationship light-bulb moments with Bob Grant's e-book »
There are many people who are dissatisfied with their condition but what separates No Identity Men from the rest of the people is degree of their suffering and their passive ways of dealing with their problem.
The core issue is that No Identity Men don't like themselves to begin with. They don't like their background, family, origin, country and the whole culture they are coming from. They hate their job (and truly they are often in dead-end job due to their own passiveness). They are extremely dissatisfied with their relationships that are often ridiculous. They see people around themselves petty and everything they do banal and boring. This makes them yearn for something alien, foreign, perhaps a mysterious exotic lady to come and save them from themselves.
No Identity Man feels as if he has a hole in his heart. If he is not deeply depressed, he will travel around the world looking for that special place, special culture, special cause or special woman to fill the void he feels inside. This type of men will never choose a woman from the same origin like himself. A foreigner or a woman from another race always has an advantage.
However, because the true problem does not originate from outside but from inside, they can never be happy long enough. At certain point of time, No Identity Man may think that he has found what he was looking for, but this is rather self-delusion. Pretty soon, he will rebel against this new place, woman or cause and will start looking for something else.
When dealing with this type of unhappy men you must be realistic about what you can and cannot offer. Even if you initially have necessary qualities to become an object of his admiration (like you are coming from another culture, or have different skin color), you must realize that sooner or later he will lose his interest. Sometimes his love may turn to hate or even to racism.
Relationship light-bulb moments with Bob Grant's e-book »
In addition, these men are very imaginative. In the beginning of the relationship they will idealize you and envelop you in their fantasies. Later they will bitterly resent you for not being what they thought you were and perhaps will make you pay for it. If you insist on relationship with this type of unhappy men, you must seem at least somewhat foreign or exotic. Once you are in a relationship, you must manage to avoid familiarity and commonness at all times. Because No Identity Men are not happy with themselves they absolutely need to idealize you. Since they don't have their own identity, when they fall in love with you YOU become a reflection of who they are. Feeling good about you helps them feel better about themselves. If you are ordinary then they are ordinary and this idea is something that they cannot stand. Their self-esteem is at stake.
Being with them is going to be a continuous struggle for keeping their interest. In all cases, no matter how talented and creative you are, you won't be able to save the No-Identity Man from himself.
