How to Survive a Breakup
Your worst fears came true... How to survive?
So you've broken up and it seems that whatever you are trying to do to save your relationship pushes your ex even further away from you. Your attempts to get him to talk to you, to understand what you could do to get back together or at least where you were wrong don't bring any results. In fact, when you do this your ex seems to be annoyed by you even more and his attitude is absolutely humiliating.
You are probably feeling sick and tired, and you may think there is nothing else you could do. Your case may seem hopeless to you, but once you allow yourself to think this way - this will become your reality and then you've definitely lost.
The only thing you will need...
Listen: if you really want ANY chance to be back to that happy place where you've once been, you must have an unshakeable belief that it is not too late.
It might seem hard to do - you've been hurt and humiliated by the closest person in your life. Many times you promised yourself that you will give it just one more try just to be bitterly disappointed again and again. Maybe you were in pain for so long that now you are not even sure that you actually care about saving your relationship from a breakup. It maybe that you are not even sure that you care about your very ability to survive this breakup.
You could have gone so far that you promised yourself that you will never be in another relationship again, because you simply cannot take pain anymore that seems to be inevitable when you become so open, so vulnerable when you feel in love.
But if you only feel that there is a weak voice inside of you that still says 'I wish we were back together like before' that is all what you will need for now. You just have to let this voice out and promise yourself that instead of living lonely and bitter existence you WILL live your dreams.
What is the real reason of your breakup?
Your pain and insecurities lead you to behave in a way that repels your ex. This is no surprise - think of how different you are now from the person he fell in love with in the first place. In addition, it is natural for most of us to be repelled by someone who is too anxious to have us. Struggling against this nature is absolutely pointless and will do you no good. It will only damage the relationship even more.
It might be difficult to accept, but your relationship ended up in trouble because your entire way of being in this relationship was wrong. At certain point of time you felt insecure, which caused you to take a weaker position. You started to behave in way that could not generate other results than what is happening to you right now. This means you wouldn't be where you are now unless your whole lifestyle was characterized by chaos, stress and pressure. The very reason why your relationship with other person was ruined is that you were in a bad relationship with yourself.
Okay, now what?
What you need to do now is to stop any attempts to talk to your ex. Stop all the calls, e-mails and text messages. Instead you are going to take a completely new approach. From now on you will concentrate on rescuing your relationship with yourself. It is going to be quite challenging and it will require strength and discipline, but it is something you absolutely must do whether or not you want to save the relationship from a breakup.
Remember the things that used to bring you joy before you ever knew your ex. Remember the things you dreamed about that depend only on you and have nothing to do with the relationship. Remember the things that used to energize you and fill you with optimism and desire to live. Allow yourself to become this person again, not only because this is the person your ex fell in love with long ago, but because you need it.
If your relationship went so bad, there is no doubt that you lost touch with your dignity and personal standards. You gave up on your hopes and dreams, allowing your ex to mistreat you again and again. You may blame your ex for this, but the true answers and the true solutions are within you.
So you will be using this time to reconnect with yourself once again, to re-assess yours strengths and talents. You will be developing a full life of your own which has nothing to do with the relationship and cannot be taken away from you by a whim of your partner.
At the same time you will create a necessary psychological space between you and your ex, allowing him to experience a shift in how he feels about you. You are no longer pursuing him and it is not clear what you are up to. Suddenly you become more desirable because you are no longer smothering him, you no longer seem needy. In fact, he starts to recognize that old you that he first met and preferred to all other women he has ever met. This will restore the lost balance and he will remember why he loved you in first place.
Reconnecting with yourself, treating yourself with dignity and respect, creating a full life of your own is an absolute foundation of your recovery. The psychological space you are creating will pull your ex back to you by shifting his whole perception of you.
- How to Get an Ex Back - Three Essential Steps
- Your Ex Wants You Back - Is This Interest Genuine?
- Winning Your Ex Back
