How to Get An Ex Back -
Three Steps Process
You just broke up... How to get him back?
Most of us are forced to face at least some kind of breakup at certain point of our life, and the most common way to cope with this is just to go on with our lives without looking back. There is nothing wrong with this approach unless you are not willing to put up with such a sad outcome. On another hand, if you are willing to do some effort in order to get back with your ex and live 'happily ever after', which is possible by the way, you have some very interesting options here. In this article you will learn that a mere breakup does not have to mean that your relationship cannot be saved.
In most cases, and this means 'most cases', there is absolutely no reason why you wouldn't be able to get your ex back after divorce or breakup. The truth is that most people get very emotional and rush with their words and actions. Then there are so many things said and done that nobody really remembers how and when it all started.
Step One: Find the Real Reason Why You Broke Up
If you dare to suggest that you could get your ex back, then the first thing you must do is to carefully analyze what is the REAL reason of your breakup. This is the toughest part. It is so difficult because the real reason of breakup is rarely what it seems to be. The real reason usually always has to do with the two of you only and not with some other people, like his family, your family or another woman (maybe hard to believe, but true and these are the best news).
You need to dig deeper, much deeper. Be prepared to look at yourself critically. Well, okay, he probably did some really bad stuff to you too, but he is not the one who is wondering how to get an ex back. He is not sitting there and reading this article. This is why we will start with you and do our best with what we have!
Think about it. Think about him and yourself. What kind of needs he has. Where his insecurities lie (they are there, promise). Let us say, maybe he is a kind of ambitious guy and appreciates a good chase. Then your mistake could be that instead of giving him a constant thrill of chase you made yourself easy and available at all times.
Or maybe he is exactly the opposite - noble knight type - and you turned him off by being overly independent. With all your looks and actions you demonstrated how much you don't need him thinking that this will only make him want you more. But nope, it doesn't always work this way.
You must realize that you cannot grab just any relationship book and apply the advice given to any situation. To use this kind of information you need to have some good insights into human nature and its diversity (for more ideas about his possible needs and wants vs what you offer him read Love Dynamics).
Maybe you have acted like a bottomless pit - hopelessly needy, never satisfied with the attention that he was giving you. Or maybe you've got simply too comfortable in this relationship and the fact that you even stopped trying for him disappointed him and little by little he backed off.
Do some brainstorming. Be open to suggestions. The idea here is not to put you down and blame you for everything, but to realize what factors that were under your control contributed to this breakup. You will never be able to change something that already happened, but by doing this careful analysis you will learn a lot about yourself and relationships, which will protect you from repeating same mistakes in the future.
Step Two: Build a solid base for your own life
No matter what kind of insights you've got now after investigating the reasons for your breakup, you cannot present yourself to him as a needy woman. You've got to decide that you are going to be happy 'no matter what', act as a strong woman who can deal with her issues, stay centered and start putting a base for a complete and exciting life that has nothing to do with your relationships with men. When you do this you increase your chances of getting your ex back tenfold, because people who are self-sufficient and know what they are doing in life are so much more attractive.
Step Three: Avoid this common mistake
Do not kid yourself by thinking that you can get an ex back by making him jealous. In fact, this strategy proves to be disastrous most of the times. And even if it was successful the effect won't last for long, because you cannot have a good relationship that you dream about on something that was built on such negative feeling like jealousy. By making your ex jealous you will only signal him that he must move on with his life. The idea here is only to show him that you are a strong, confident, centered woman, which will inspire him to get you back.
