Four Temperaments in Love – Phlegmatic Love

The Phlegmatic lover is the most sensitive of four temperaments. When they are with their potential partners, phlegmatic people seek for common intellectual and emotional ground, which will serve as a bridge from heart to heart.


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Because they reveal their feelings right in the beginning, they can be deeply hurt by rejection and these people do not see dating as a fun experience in the same way that Sanguine people do. Dating for them is always seeking for marriage or long-term committed relationship and they have a tendency to look for bonding, nurturing and attachment with a potential partner or date. In fact, when dating, they truly give themselves and it has been known for them at times, to get so tired emotionally that they stop dating for a period of time.

Once phlegmatic people find “the one”, they work on maintaining intimacy with this partner. They will avoid conflicts, they will do major adjustments and sacrifices – all for the sake of this cherished bond. Everything that happens within the relationship such as the odd phone call here and the email there is looked at as an important part of their relationship to the point where they actively enjoy analyzing their relationships and their partners’ thoughts and motives.

Between all four temperaments, this is the most romantic one. They fall in love most frequently and romance is critical to them; they plan romantic evenings and weekends well in advance. They will send you romantic cards; give you hugs and confess their love in hope that you will answer with the same. Sex also has to be romantic and if they engage it at all they expect that a meaningful relationship will develop. To them sex and love are interconnected – the exact opposite of typical sanguine approach.

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Because phlegmatic people have rich fantasy life, they tend to idealize their partners. It is only when they delve further into the relationship and find out that their perfect partner isn’t quite as perfect as they once thought, the entire relationship is almost deemed to be ruined or “poisoned” to the point where they may not even be interested anymore.

It is important to mention that despite the fact that phlegmatic people seek for harmony and spend a lot of energy to build connection with their partners, they don’t like clingy and overly demanding people.

As mentioned in previous articles, your secondary personality type plays a powerful role in how you love:

  • Phlegmatic-sanguine still seek the true love, but at the same time they like playful and adventurous partners.
  • The Sanguine-melancholic type is great at managing people, as well as very sympathetic and tactful and they are very warm and charming.
  • Phlegmatic-choleric people also search for a perfect match, but can be tough-minded and analytical at the same time.

Generally, all phlegmatic types value marriage and it is their ultimate goal in relationship. They are the type that seeks for unconditional love – something that most other people don’t even understand the concept of. If they realize that their partner is not their soul mate and will not become their soul mate, they will leave him or her in search for their one “true” match.