Relationship light-bulb moments with Bob Grant's e-book »
Emotional manipulation is used to affect minds, hearts and behaviors of people. To use it successfully you need to understand why they do what they do and why they don't do what they don't. You need to get outside of yourself and get into their skin.
Self-absorbed person can never do that. Train yourself to direct your gaze outward, quit analyzing yourself. Affecting others doesn't happen scrutinizing your childhood issues, you get that by breaking the code of human nature, by understanding push and pull of human behavior.
At the core of emotional manipulation is observation of people. Study them, search for their weaknesses. Imagine what it is like to be them, learn to see world with their eyes, feel what they feel and you will know what they need and want. You will be able to predict outcome of different situations and that knowledge will enable you to control this very outcome. With this knowledge you can tailor your strategies with your desired result in mind. This is an incredibly powerful way. None of psychological tricks will make a lasting difference unless you master this skill.
So, observe people you want to influence, learn about their past, about how and where did they grow up and what they were missing in their lives, see how they act when faced with challenge. Look who already has power over them and find out why they have that power. Are they defined by values and principles or by greed and impulses? What their expectations are? How do they feel about themselves? Generally, look for opposites. Knee slapping comics are usually very lonely and insecure people who are desperate for approval. Harshness is usually a sign of fear getting hurt. Timidity is sometimes a way to disguise prohibited desires. Very sensitive people often hide behind tough guy's mask. Do not listen to what they tell you about themselves, instead observe their body language, face expressions, blush here or there, listen to the tone of their voice. Those who are bluffing are concerned with how they appear to others, so they would overcompensate, and that is a sure sign that they have some hidden agenda. Look how they act when caught unprepared when their defenses are down.
Make them emotional, say something they never expected you to say and see the reaction. When people get emotional they are sincere. If you have people working under you you may want to test them by saying something slightly off-color just to see how they react. You will see where does each of them stand.
Relationship light-bulb moments with Bob Grant's e-book »
The second step of your emotional manipulation strategy is to use this knowledge to your advantage. If you found they had some fears find a way to reassure them indirectly so they will relax and trust you. They will commit to you and bond with you. If you found that they have some unfulfilled needs or desires give it to them, make them reflect that on you. Fill the emptiness they feel if their love is what you wish for.
Don't make it obvious you were observing them, make it all look smooth and natural. Emotional manipulation is a learned skill that needs a lot of practice. Look at every every social interaction as a chance of implementing this knowledge and see your life change.
