Relationship light-bulb moments with Bob Grant's e-book »
Different types of communication are different ways of interacting with people around you that determine the responses you get. As refers to your relationships, one of the most important choices you do every day is how you present and define yourself to other people. Let us say, it is your unique way of being in this world: your look, your attitude, your way of talking and reacting, your style of engagement. By this you contribute to your experiences with people, because when you choose to act in a certain fashion, they are most apt to respond in a certain related way.
While there is a great number of ways, styles and levels with which you deal with others, there is a main pattern that defines who you are in the perception of the world. It is highly beneficial to evaluate your engagement style in order to understand why the world responds to you the way it does. To help you with this task, we will mention just some of many different types of communication that get very predictable outcome. You may recognize yourself here, or you may recognize someone you know. You may also add your own category.
The Hedgehog
Hedgehogs are people that walk into every situation expecting to get offended. They find fault with anything and everything that goes around them. No matter what the situation is they personalize nearly any act or action as an offense or a personal insult. Because of this style of engagement, the people are trying to stay on arm's length, just like you would do with a hedgehog. The "hedgehogs" typically complain that people around them are cold and withdrawn. They don't realize that it is their behavior that makes people treat them that way.
The Poser
One of the many different types of communication is poser's style. The posers are extremely insecure, this is the reason why they spend most of their time striking poses and using false self-criticisms to elicit compliments. However, no amount of complements will make them feel secure. Their goal is to look better than you and to make sure you know it. Since they insist on behaving in the most superficial fashion imaginable, they never experience genuine intimacy and closeness with another human being.
The Investigator
Investigator's calamity is his love to scrutinize every situation, every event, every word in a way that they completely lose the big picture. Since they think they "know it all" they are blocking out any outside input. They bore people with their over-analysis, and although they are generally seen as intelligent, they are usually avoided. Their experience of the world is lonely, lacking bonding with other people.
Damsel in Distress
Out of all different types of communication this one is the most histrionic type. Damsels in distress are prone to exaggeration. According to them none of their life events is ordinary. Their sickness is the worst the doctor has ever seen. Your compliment to them is the sweetest thing they ever heard. A harsh comment made to them becomes in their retelling the worst attack imaginable. No wonder that people don't trust their competency in life and quickly discard anything these drama queens say. Damsel in distress feels frustrated, because she is never taken seriously and is never trusted.
Gossip-monger
Gossip-mongers are busybodies that always whisper in your ear something that according to them is a gripping truth that they will share "only with you". These people are seen as untrustworthy, because others realize that if they will tell it to you they will tell it about you. They are treated in the most guarded fashion. Desperate to create bond with others, gossip-mongers get stuck in their self-destructive ways, where they try to get trusted and intimate at other people's expense. However, all they get is shame.
Relationship light-bulb moments with Bob Grant's e-book »
Whiner
Complainers and faultfinders, these people are extremely passive in their lives. They see that everything is done to them, not by them. They will whine and cry about their circumstances and mistreatment they have to face. Because they sincerely believe that they have been victimized, they deprive themselves of the slightest chance of overcoming the obstacles and gaining at least some control in their lives. The whiners are rarely respected, and usually avoided.
The Loser
If you were to analyze hundreds of different types of communication, this one is the least ambitious. They don't have any respect for themselves, they actually expect to be on the bottom, so that's where they are. They are totally defenseless and it is as if they invite others to whip them. Well, many will gladly accommodate.
Blamer
Blamers are really mean. They figured out that guilt is a weapon that could be used to control and manipulate people, so they use it to keep the others down. They want you to believe that you've got a life sentence of shame for what you once did to them, so you pay the rest of your life. However, some people see through them and get rid of them as soon as they can.
While you studied the list of different types of communication you probably recognized yourself somewhere, or at least found some images that describe some of your styles. You also found some people you know. When you realize how your engagement style contributes to your experience in this world, you can stop feeling victimized and adjust your ways according to the results you want to get. This will give you more control and satisfaction in your relationships. And since almost anything you do involves other people, you will become more successful in other areas of your life too.
